When I Think About Jesus & All That He Has Done For Me…

Many a Sunday I have stood in church and heard it said “When I think about Jesus, and all that he has done for me, my sould cries out ‘Hallelujah’!” I am not ashamed to say that I have not always been able to co-sign that. Inside, I knew it to be true that Jesus had done great things for me, but it wasn’t hitting me in my soul “everytime I turn” as the song goes. But last night, as I was peeling boiled eggs, it hit me.

All by myself, with no prompting or reason to be doing so, I was thinking about the goodness of Jesus. I thought about how I lay in bed so many nights trying to understand why this “God” character was letting this man repeatedly climb on top of me. I thought about the many nights I considered ending my own life. I considered the number of times I worried that I would end up a prostitute, or pregnant and found out. I was less afraid of being pregnant than I was of being found out. I thought about what I could be or where I could have ended up. I thought about the STDs I didn’t end up with, the life I didn’t take, the scars I didn’t receive, the night it was finally over, each day I have lived without even thinking about it… and standing in my kitchen I began to cry.

That he should care for me when I was so thankless, that he should be there for me even when I doubted him, that he should love me enough to heal me and to have a purpose for me just took over me and I loved him. I thanked him. I can barely type because the truth of His love is sweeping over me and I can just barely believe that He loves me so… but He does. And He loes you and wants to heal you. I dare you to stop and just consider all that he has done instead of thinking about what He didn’t do.