Celebrate That You Never Could Have Made It Without the Hand of God on Your Life

I placed this video before my own words because Marvin Sapp says this so perfectly… he so superbly sets the tone for this post that my hope is that you play the video and let it minister to the hurt child in you. While you read these words, listen to what he is saying. You know as well as anyone that there is no reason that you can name this side of heaven as to why you made it through all you have gone through. You know better than anyone that you considered so many other ends and alternate lives… but to be standing here today, living out loud and striving everyday to be more than a simple statistic is a testimony to the work of God in your life.

And it does not matter that you still struggle to feel His presence. It does not matter that when you were being abused, you could not believe in Him. It does not matter that there are still scars to heal and nights when you cry out “Who is this God?” It only matters that He is and He is here… was there… with you… always. He kept you from ending your life prematurely. He kept you from disease. He kept you from a abortion. He kept you from prostitution. He kept you from mutilation. He kept you from promiscuity.

Whatever it is you are not, know that it was God and God alone that protected you. Know that it was God and God alone who held your hand in the dark of night as what was done to you. Know that it was God and God alone that walked the streets with you, keeping death at bay when you ran away. Know that it was He and not another that brought you through.

I know one thing for sure, I am here today only by the grace of God. I tried to end my life, and yet here I am living proof everyday that there is life after. All we have to do is hold on.

Listen to what Marvin is saying. From everything that he has suffered, he has gained strength and wisdom. He says he is better. And, watch this now, he says he made it. Know that you can make it. No matter what it is that is plaguing you, whatever the trouble is in your life, whatever you are going through or have endured, you will make it. I dare you… shout now.

Searching for that Special Someone

When you have been battered and bruise, beaten and abused, mistreated and misused, it can be next to impossible to find that special someone to spend your life with. Not because that person is not out there, but because we ourselves have so much baggage to work through in maintaining a healthy relationship that we often send the good ones running for the hills. That’s real talk… and often, real talk is not what we areinterested in. We want to believe that we have dealt with the pain of our past and that people just don’t get us. That’s not true. You don’t get you. Looking at our own reflection is not always easy but it is ever so necessary. I challenge every survivor of abuse to live a Happily Ever After by creating and shaping it first by honestly and realistically looking at self. And it wouldn’t hurt to do this as a single person. If you have the luxury to deal with you under the cover of singlehood, thank God for that. Your relationship-to-some will be so much the better for it. If you are in a relationship, it is not too late. Do it anyway.

I found this website today and could not take my eyes off of this trailer. This movie is so important and I am proud to spread the word. The Soulmate File at www.soulmatefilm.com.

 

“Time” – A Poem

Today, I will be speaking to the young women of New Directions for Teen Parents (a Catholic Charities program and I am super excited for this opportunity. This short poem is an old one that reminds us that no mistake is so defining that you can not overcome it and become whoever it is you want to be. I salute you, young mothers, striving to be more than the statistic someone says you will be. Enjoy your Life After!!!

“Time”

 

indeed

time waits for no one

and no one can escape its reach

you can either let it teach

you what has to teach

or you can struggle

troubled by the things you simply can not control

but try

the things that make you cry

things you don’t understand

but lie about

time can teach you to forgive

to live free from the stains of pains

you needn’t own

time can show you where you’ve grown

and where you’ve failed

if you let the mistress of time tell the tale

instead of trying to write the book yourself

let her be the help she is intended to be

then see…

just wait and see…

whatever should be

will be

 

A Miss Mai Original

There’s Hope

I can’t say it any better than it is said in this song…

When I Think About Jesus & All That He Has Done For Me…

Many a Sunday I have stood in church and heard it said “When I think about Jesus, and all that he has done for me, my sould cries out ‘Hallelujah’!” I am not ashamed to say that I have not always been able to co-sign that. Inside, I knew it to be true that Jesus had done great things for me, but it wasn’t hitting me in my soul “everytime I turn” as the song goes. But last night, as I was peeling boiled eggs, it hit me.

All by myself, with no prompting or reason to be doing so, I was thinking about the goodness of Jesus. I thought about how I lay in bed so many nights trying to understand why this “God” character was letting this man repeatedly climb on top of me. I thought about the many nights I considered ending my own life. I considered the number of times I worried that I would end up a prostitute, or pregnant and found out. I was less afraid of being pregnant than I was of being found out. I thought about what I could be or where I could have ended up. I thought about the STDs I didn’t end up with, the life I didn’t take, the scars I didn’t receive, the night it was finally over, each day I have lived without even thinking about it… and standing in my kitchen I began to cry.

That he should care for me when I was so thankless, that he should be there for me even when I doubted him, that he should love me enough to heal me and to have a purpose for me just took over me and I loved him. I thanked him. I can barely type because the truth of His love is sweeping over me and I can just barely believe that He loves me so… but He does. And He loes you and wants to heal you. I dare you to stop and just consider all that he has done instead of thinking about what He didn’t do.

Life After Advocacy

Today is new and full of promise… we have got to remember that.

For a women’s conference, I recently performed a poem entitled “This Is the Poem” which has been the catalyst to this great shift in my life.  The response to it has fanned a flame inside of me to speak for those who can not, have not or will not. What I have heard from so many women and girls and men is not surprising, because as a survivor I already know how prevalent this problem is in our society. What has surprised me is the healing that has taken place in my own life so that I can stand up to anyone and declare freely, openly, honestly, proudly, defiantly, triumphantly, boldly and confindantly that:

There is life after…

With full faith that God will send me where I need to go, direct me to someone who needs the encouragement I have to give, that I will be a blessing and be blessed, that I will be also encouraged (as I have been already), I am beginning whay I call LIFE AFTER ADVOCACY. The intent is to celebrate and believe in life after… to move forward… to look back only to see how far we have come… and to press forward to that good and perfect plan that God intended for our lives.

A beautiful life awaits…

… be open.

You Are Not the Only One

It is the hardest thing for you to believe when you are going through it, but you are not alone. Even now… some twenty, thirty years later, you are still not alone. Someone you work with can relate to the secret pain you carry. Someone you laugh with, eat with, talk to regularly has a story similar to yours that they haven’t shared. The only difference might be that one of you is healed and one of you isn’t.

You have to understand that what happened to you as a child reverberates in your actions and decisions for years and years. And just because you are hyper-vigilant about who you choose to date or to bring around your own children does not mean you have dealt with your abuse. As a survivor, I can tell you I have never ceased to be amazed at how much anger there was inside of me. How much shame. And still so much fear.

 But I want to tell you that God can heal you, mend you, repair you, love you to a place called “whole” in a way where you will know without question that it was Him and Him alone that did it. I pray that you seek Him for healing and seek friends and family for support.

God Bless!

Miss Mai, poetess